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Hah, so... Summer holidays = too much free time = too much time to think = blog posts like the one from earlier this morning. (how's that for a mathematical equation?).

Truth is.. Once I am back at school, I'll probably be worrying about other crap- I hope... So, on a happier, at work yesterday, there was some drawing paper lying around and guess what? I got to keep it.. No idea who ordered it, I don't think anyone is ever going to photocopy or print an invoice onto that stuff. So hurray for me.

Thoughts

So, it is 2.20am and I made the attempt of going to bed just before 2 and all of a sudden felt I needed to write something. At least I don't have to get up for anything specific tomorrow, though it worries me that this time next week I will need to be waking up in 3 and a half (or so) hours in order to get ready for school. I'm not sure if I am looking forward to going back. It irritates me that I can't fix my sleeping patterns, despite having tried. So, here's a variation of something I wrote 2 (ish) months ago on the MySpace blog and deleted 2 days later.

I'm starting to think that I, in many ways, preferred the person I was 2-3 years ago to the person I am now. Back then I knew exactly what I wanted, how to get it and had 100% confidence that I would get it. I had more confidence in myself and my abilities and couldn't care less for other peoples' perceptions of me (though, that part is still true, for the most part anyhow). I'd draw or paint something and show it to you and be like "ya' dig?".. Now I'd hesitate for a while and after over-thinking it, I would then think about it again and still probably not show you. Needless to say, I was probably the better artist then to what I am now. In many ways I wish I were the same person, but I am not. I still hold to the same things I wanted then, but question them now- perhaps the people around me are finally starting to get to me? I'm not even sure exactly what I want anymore and constantly wonder whether I'm wasting my time...And whilst I would like to believe that I do, fact is I don't have very much confidence in most aspects of myself anymore. Then again maybe it was easier to live in my head as opposed to the real world. Still, I kinda preferred that, and I miss that motivation and drive to succeed that I seem to have lost toward the end of my final year of High School... If anyone finds it, please mail it to me.

I'm starting to wonder whether I am physically and mentally capable of surviving another two years of school, and all the bullshit that comes with.

Retrospective

I've been thinking a lot lately about my subject choices at College.. (By the way, did I mention I got into the Queensland College of Art AND that my credit transfers went through and all? I'm now officially a 2nd year Fine Arts student!). Anyway, looking back at last year, I should have definitely dropped Sculpture when I had the chance and taken Printmaking instead...because now I am stuck doing Sculpture (ok, not entirely true, the reasons for this will be explained shortly). I knew it then and I suppose I just assumed "It's a phase, in a couple weeks you'll totally hate Printmaking". Well, that didn't work out so well (which is funny, because that is generally how most things go for me...so that was odd).

Ok, so here's the deal.. I could do Printmaking, but because I did not do the introductory course last semester, I would have to do it this semester thus not entirely making me a 2nd year student and therefore causing my degree to go on a semester longer than it initially would have. No big deal, right? Wrong. For some reason, that is a very big deal for me...which warrants me putting myself through the torture of taking a Sculpture course as an elective that will take me through the rhythms of concept art for which I seem to have lost interest in circa 2008, (this is probably the phase, though..previous to that, all art was concept art, as far as I was concerned).. So I don't know what's up with that. This Interdisciplinary Sculpture class could possibly allow me to explore the realms of claymation (I love that stuff, but I am yet to muster up the patience to endure such a lengthy project), so that would be cool...Who knows, it might re-unite me with my lost love for Installation Art.

So, Printmaking, could this be my calling? (haha..cheeseball lines are a must). I don't know, only in the past few days have I thought that 'shit.....maybe I shouldn't major in Painting after all'...and should perhaps do Printmaking anyway, regardless of the fact that it will drag out my University studies to a point where I do not want them dragged out.... Or perhaps still major in Painting and take Printmaking as an elective (which has been my stress for the past...few months actually)... But I just realised, I don't think my University offers a Printmaking elective course...which would then prompt me to think I should perhaps do Printmaking as an elective major (and then drop my Drawing elective). Possible, but that would suck in third year if Printmaking clashed with Painting, thus causing me to have to finish up to a year later ANYWAY. So, that option I suppose was ruled out.. Because in all honesty, I would do the Honours program too, because I know I could easily get high enough grades to get into it, but the issue again being that I want to finish when I want to finish.. I don't see the point in dragging something out when it doesn't need to be.

In reality, I decided about 7 months ago that after I finish this degree, I was going to save up the money to send myself to that private art school that I've had my eye on since the 11th grade and study Illustration and then take Printmaking as an elective or minor or whatever. So I don't know why this is stressing me out so much, because I've already thought of all of this... Then I realised, I think the reason it bothers me is because Printmaking is something that interests me to the point where I want to be able to learn it and do it now....To which I said to myself "heck, why not teach yourself?". So, for the moment, until I am rolling in the $$$ in order to send myself to study the aforementioned in the place that I did actually not mention, I am going to teach myself the art (or is it craft?) of Printmaking.. I'm even considering getting an etching press, as crazy as that may sound. I already know how to do linocuts, and to my understanding woodcuts are very similar (please correct me if I am wrong!). So, this will be fun.. Now to get a second job so I can afford the equipment :P.

Kindersendungen!

Ah yes, it is once again almost sun-up and I am yet to go to bed. Actually, I meant to go to bed over an hour ago, but got carried away looking up kids shows (the animated kind) I used to watch as a young child when still living in Switzerland. I wasn't looking just in general, I was looking for one in particular whose name I cannot remember and I am pretty sure was a cartoon. I'm not sure if it was a German cartoon, or a cartoon from somewhere else dubbed into German. All I can visually remember is a flash of the theme song here and there and of course a few of the lyrics (which I believe to be vague and possibly incorrect, due to the 13+ years since having seen and heard it) and I remember parts of the music. It's been irritating me that past few years, because no matter what I google in reference to it, I cannot find it. I don't know if I am googling the wrong thing (seeing as I'm not entirely sure if what I remember is actually what I saw), but I spent the last hour or so googling like crazy, youtubing like crazy in hopes of finding it and even resorted to googling television stations I used to watch back then (at least, the ones I could remember... Or shall I say one..which branched out into 3 channels.. RTL, RTL2 and SuperRTL haha yes..there might have been another one dedicated to kids like KinderRTL, but maybe I just imagined that..They all showed cartoons at some point or another and actually SuperRTL may well have been the children specific one..who knows). Anyway... It is frustrating me. What I remember from it (visuall) is like a little island (or beach?) and a palm tree on it. There was either a lion or a seal or sealion (or a combination of these) as well..and the words were something like "Am Meeresstrand, im Palmen Land" which of course is probably totally wrong, it's just how I remember it. I really want to find out what it is, because for some reason I believe it is (was?) an essential part of my childhood.. At the same time, I almost don't want to find out..Because then it will be like "what now?".. I know, over such a stupid thing. Still, I want to know.

Now I think it is time for bed, don't you? :P
Peace. Unity.

Only in Japan

I love stop motion! If they made commercials like this over here, I might actually watch television. This is insanely amusing. Also kind of really cute.

Tastes like happy...

This is going to be a short update. I just wanted to post photos of the most amazing thing I have ever tasted. I don't remember exactly what it was called, but it's available at Loving Hut (a vegan chain-restaurant...cafe...). I went there with Sascha on Monday afternoon, we were both very hungry. The restaurant (or rather, cafe) was very nice. It wasn't busy, but I think that's because we didn't 'hit it' at peak time, which is always nice. Very clean and presentable (which is the way it should be, when food is concerned). We ordered our meals and shared a little, it was nice, but I only took photos of dessert because I forgot I actually had my camera with me until I saw what this looked like....

Isn't it brilliant?
I'm rather sure this is the first milk-shake type beverage I've had in at least three years. The novelty of non-dairy whipped cream never wears out (then again I think I've only ever tasted it once before...). I know I will be going back for more of this.

Here's a photo of Sascha and the Cheesecake she ordered. I know, the formatting of this post is a little odd. Oh well.
I highly recommend Loving Hut to anyone and everyone, whether you are or aren't vegan, it's amazing...and they're everywhere.


So, in other news, I start school again in...27 days, but I'll post another blog about this later. Enjoy.